Thursday, December 31, 2009

2010 Anti-Resolutions

Today is officially the last day of the year 2009. Some people are pulling out the party hats, hanging streamers and balloons, and maybe setting up some fireworks. Of course, I can't leave out the resolutions. I always make a few for the year and rarely ever keep them. So, I'm joining in the fun (as I hope you will to) and flipping the switch. Here are my anti-resolutions for the year 2010:

  • I will not fall in to the pit of social peer pressure or rejoice in the fad of jumping off of bridges for the sport of it.

  • I will not hire a man name Frankie Knuckles to retrieve the money my brother borrowed and refused to pay back.

  • I will not reconsider hiring Frankie Knuckles every time my brother talks his way back in to our house after being too lazy to live with yet another one of his friends.

  • I will not toss my 100 + book collection out the window to free up shelf space for my Precious Moments shrine.

  • I will not purchase a baseball bat via the internet to teach some people the vital lesson of noise pollution.

  • I will not stalk every yard sale in the city in an effort to find the prize object which will bring the annoyance and aggravation of a ghost moocher to my home just to have something personal to blog about.

  • I will not indulge in the simple mindedness of our neighbors who are banking on our dachshund impregnating theirs for their monetary pleasure.

  • I will not develop a marketing plan to sell our nine feet of snow to those few who have never seen a flake of it.

  • I will not indulge in tweeting every nanosecond of my new desk chairs existence for the mere fact he's just not that in to me and is here against his will.

  • I will not contemplate world domination just to prove to the Brain how four seasons of partnership with Pinky hurt his chances for success.